Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Bizzare World that is France

1. They are all obsessed with peeling things. They peel apples, pears, nectarines, peaches, zucchinis, cucumbers, and who knows what else! Because there are chemicals etc etc. I'm like "Well,wash it then.." Plus, I dont peel OR wash my fruit and veg, and Ive never been ill and died. And they cook jacket potatoes, but once they have been served, everyone peels them themselves. Oh, and they cut up rockmelon and watermelon into wedges like we do, but then they cut the bit out of the wedge, so its like a skinless wedge. So there is no peel for you to logically grab onto, and you are therefore forced into cutting it up with a knife and fork.

2. They get out of the car at the drive through car wash, therefore defeating the purpose. Even if its snowing or raining outside. One day, I suggested that we stay in the car, because its warm and fun and normal, but they said that it was dangerous and that I would get hurt. Coz Ive only done it 15479875433456799007655443 times...

3.Nobody picks up their dogs, um, waste. So the streets and the parks are covered in it. Lovely.

4. A dog can enter a store with its owner. Even if its like a clothes store or supermarket. Yuck.

5. The French have a great fear of the weather. If there is a grey cloud in the sky, they declare that there will be a huge storm and hail, and everyone rushes inside and panics and switches off all the electrical appliances incase they explode. And if it rains its liek "AAAAHH! Quick!! Get inside. Close all the windows!!!" Im like "Youre not witches, your not going to melt". Its almost as extreme with the sunshine. Its a lovely 34 degree day, and the news declares that it is a heat wave and that everyone should remain indoors etc. Except that its like 30, 31, 32 degrees everyday. So its pretty much normal anyways.

6. If the french watch anything foreign, they dub it with crappy french voices, rather than watching it in the original version with subtitles (like we would, with a french film). So, there are people in france who claim to love Pirates of the Caribeann and have never heard Captain Jack Sparrow's marvellous voice.

7. Rather than using a knife, the french like to get a piece of bread and use it to shovel their meal (pasta, potato, salad, anything) onto their fork. And when that piece of bread gets too soggy and gross, they eat it and grab another.

8. They are very worried about being robbed, even the people that live in tiny villages, where everyone knows eachother and there is nothing worth stealing. They lock their doors and windows when the go out, even the wooden shutters, and a lot of people have those electric gates that close automatically, and that you need a key thing to open. Now, thats all fine, even if its a little, um, stuck up, but whats really weird, is that they lock their door when they are inside the house!!! So you have to unlock it simply to go in the garden or for a little walk!! Paranoid much?

9. They all eat this stuff called fromage blanc. Its kind of like greek yoghurt, kind of like cream cheese.... sour cream? Anyway, they think its like super healthy, blah blah blah, and maybe it is, but they at everyday, sometimes at lunch AND dinner, and because it tastes like shit, they have to add a mountain of caster sugar, or jam. And sometimes they mix thickened cream into it as well. And then they tell me that Im going to get fat when I eat a square of dark chocolate... yeah, guys, whatever you say..

10. The french have a strange idea of health. It goes something like this: even if you eat hot chips, bacon, and chocolate mousse, if you add some sald, some pasta, some carrots steamed in butter (go figure that one out..?) and a bowl or 2 of sugary fromage blanc, it will be healthy. Basically they think eating apparently healthy things will cancel out all the bad stuff. Even though, in reality, they just end up eating 3 times as much, all still buttery, creamy, and fried. And even at school, in the health section of my science text book, a healthy after school snack was said to be some chocolate eaten in a baguette. Hmmm, i know they are all thin, but surely they are dying on the inside.

11. Okay, so I dont wear shoes in the house, and sometimes not in the garden, and if I'm feeling really good, I go barefoot in the street. I see how the last one might be a little weird for the unaccustomed Frenchies, but they find it weird when I go barefoot in the house.. I know, right, the house!! They're like "Oh those wild Australians. They dont wear shoes and they eat fruit with the skin on! CRAZY STUFF!"

12. Okay, now this one is weird. In every car that Ive ever been in here, the doors have automatically locked when we've started driving. Like a child lock tyoe thing, but for everyone. One day I decided to ask why, and my host mum looked at me funnily and said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "We dont want someone to open the door when we are driving slowly or when we are a traffic lights. Its dangerous. They might hurt our children or steal the car". As in, they think that someone is going to want to still a car soooo desperately, that they will go to the trouble of leaping onto the road, ripping open the door of a moving vechile, and punching the driver. Ha.

Anyway, thats all of the bizarre french things I can think of at the moment. Hope you enjoyed it :)

Talk soon,

Jess

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Hello World!!!

Okay, so I am incredibly sorry for not writing for aaaagggggeeeessss but heres a little update on life at the moment:

Its the summer holidays at the moment. I swear they go forever. I started on May 31st and dont go back to school till early september!! There has been a few troubles with finding host families for me, so I've been moving around a lot. I am on my 6th family now! Actually, they are the same host family that I satyed with in my first 3 months in France, the Kante family. It wasnt too interesting the first time round, but both the kids are her for the holidays, so its all good. The daughter, Agnes, is 19, and the son, Francis, is 17. He just got back from a years exchange in Australia.

Before the kantes, I stayed with the Suchet family, just for 15 days. They have 2 children, an 8 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. They also had a labrador, a massive pool that was always at like 34 degrees (I was like "Yuck. Its too hot." And they were like "Ah, c'est parfait"), a home gym, and a lot (and I mean like 25) of Louis Vuitton handbags!! The kids and I went and stayed with their grandparents in the countryside, near Cluny. Its about 2 hours away from Vichy. The grandma was hilarious, very cynical. She was also obsessed with bread and made sure we ate at least one piece wiuth each course. We went and visited a lot of religious things, because thats what the region is known for, including the cathedral at Paray-Le-Monial, and the amazing abbaye at Cluny... which was built in 900 and something!! There was also this huge religo festival in these big white tents, and I went to masse with my host family. I'm pretty sure I will have nightmares for the rest of my life. There were like 500 frenchies, all in this big tent, with like 20 priests, all chanting along robotically to some melancholy choir. And then people would just randomly get down on their knees to chant and pray, even little kids (and I mean, without being asked by their parents). It was WEIRD. Like cult-worthy stuff, to my untrained mind. We also went to a huge cattle market which felt very much like the EKKA :)

The family before Suchet, was the Voison family. They were fantastic. They are young and cool, and have a gorgeous daughter, Juliette, who is 10. They gave me the nickname "No Stress Jess" coz I tend to just agree with everything or let them decide. Haha, the mum, Fabienne, made up this whole song about No Stress Jess, No Problema Jessica, No Soucy Jessi, and we walked down the street singing it. They live in this lovely old apartment in the centre of town, and I got to sleep in the massive attic. It was cool. We went to Clermont-Ferrand for a few days and went shopping and went and visited the volcanoes and a cave, and went for my first french bushwalk. It was only 3 hours long,and not very tiring, but they were all saying that they wouldnt redo it for 500 euros, haha. And then I saw a snake, but it was dead, so I just said, casually, "Oh, look, there is a little dead snake" and they all ran off screaming. Gotta love the french.. they are so... outdoorsy.

I havent got anything planned for the rest of the holidays. I've tried asking if I can visit some other aussie rotary students in france, but my club is very strict so it hasnt been possible. I have, however, started going o the gym everyday, because my host siblings are very sporty. So at least I'll lose some weight over the holidays. And my french is really starting to improve. I understand pretty much everything (except for weird french slang...), and I am starting to speak more.

So yeah, everythings good. Hope its all fab in Oz as well, and I'll try to put up some photos soon. Oh and if Jaiden could show Grandpa and Grandma my euro tour photos on facebook, that would be good :)

Lots of love,

Jess